When Should the Mother of the Bride Buy Her Dress? A Month-by-Month Plan

Most mothers of the bride do not run out of style ideas. They run out of time. The dress itself might be chosen in an afternoon, but the steps around it, waiting for the wedding palette, ordering, delivery, exchanges and alterations, stretch over months. Start too late and every one of those steps becomes a rush.

The short answer is this: start looking around six months before the wedding, and have the dress ordered three to four months before. The rest of this post explains why, how to adjust the plan for different situations, and what to do if you are already behind. For the full buying process, from color to fit, see our step-by-step guide on how to choose a mother of the bride dress.

Why the Timing Matters

Buying the dress is only one link in a chain. Before you can choose confidently, you need the bride’s color palette and an idea of the formality. After you choose, the dress has to arrive, fit, and be altered. Each link has its own delay:

• Decisions from the couple. Palettes and bridesmaid colors are often settled later than expected.
• Delivery. Online orders can take anywhere from a few days to several weeks, especially for items shipped from overseas.
• Exchanges. If the first size is wrong, returning and reordering can add two to four weeks.
• Alterations. Most occasion dresses need hemming or taking in, and a good seamstress usually needs three to six weeks.

Add those together and three months disappears quickly. The six-month starting point simply leaves room for one or two of those steps to go wrong.

The Month-by-Month Plan

Six to Eight Months Before

This is the browsing stage. You do not need to buy anything yet. Ask the couple about the palette, the formality and the venue, and start saving styles you like. It is also a good time to think about practical needs: whether you want sleeves, whether you would prefer a dress or a pant suit, and what length suits the event.

Five to Six Months Before

Narrow your shortlist to a few colors and styles. Once you have a direction, share it with the mother of the groom so she can start planning her own outfit. Our post on mother of the bride vs mother of the groom dress etiquette covers how to handle that conversation.

Three to Four Months Before

Order the dress. Check the size chart against fresh measurements, not the size you usually buy, and read the return policy before you order. If you are between two sizes, some shoppers order both and return one, which avoids losing time to an exchange.

Two to Three Months Before

Try the dress on as soon as it arrives, ideally the same day, so there is still time to return it. Buy your shoes and the undergarments you plan to wear, then book your seamstress. Popular tailors fill up quickly in the busy spring and early fall wedding seasons.

Four to Six Weeks Before

First fitting. Bring the exact shoes and undergarments, because the hem is set to the height of the shoe and the bodice to the shape of the bra.

One to Two Weeks Before

Final fitting and a full rehearsal with jewelry, bag and wrap. Sit, walk and raise your arms to check comfort. Collect the dress, hang it in a breathable garment bag and steam it a day or two before the wedding.

Adjusting the Plan to Your Situation

Short engagement. If the wedding is three months away or less, compress the browsing stage into a week or two and order as soon as the palette is known. Choose dresses with clear size charts, stretch fabrics or adjustable features such as wrap waists and lace-up backs, which reduce the need for alterations. Off-the-rack styles that ship quickly are a better choice than anything made to order.

Destination wedding. Add an extra few weeks. You will want time to test how the dress packs, and alterations must be finished before you travel. Lightweight fabrics such as chiffon resist creasing better than heavy satin. Browse mother of the bride dresses for a beach wedding for travel-friendly ideas.

Peak wedding season. For May, June, September and October weddings, book the seamstress early. In peak months, waiting lists of several weeks are common.

Plus size or petite. Extended and petite sizes sometimes have fewer options in stock at any one time, so allow a little more time to compare. Petite shoppers should expect hem alterations on most long dresses unless the style is cut in petite sizing. See plus size mother of the bride dresses and petite mother of the bride dresses.

Weight changes before the wedding. If you expect your size to change, still order on schedule, but choose a dress that can be taken in easily, such as one with side seams and no heavy beading, and leave the main alterations until the final month.

Shopping Online vs in a Boutique

Boutiques may order a dress from the designer after you try it on, which can take several weeks or months. Online shopping can be faster, but the risk moves to fit, so leave time for one exchange. Whichever you choose, the deadlines in the plan above still apply: the dress should be in your hands two to three months before the wedding.

What If You Are Running Late?

It happens, and it is fixable. A few strategies help:

• Six to eight weeks out: choose a dress that ships quickly and is described with detailed measurements. Order two sizes if the return policy allows. Book alterations the day you order.
• Three to five weeks out: favor dresses that need little tailoring, such as wrap dresses, styles with stretch, tea-length hems and pant suits that can be hemmed quickly. Ask your seamstress about a rush fee.
• Under three weeks: choose something you can wear almost as it is. A well-fitting dress in a flattering color, paired with good accessories, looks better than an ambitious dress that was hurriedly altered.

A Few Things Worth Buying Early

Beyond the dress, some items are easy to forget until the last minute. Buy shoes early enough to wear them in at home. Choose a supportive bra or shapewear before the first fitting. Find a wrap or jacket if the venue might be cool. A small clutch large enough for a phone, tissues and lipstick is useful all day. Doing these alongside the dress keeps the final weeks calm.

Frequently Asked Questions